A Humorous Look at Growing Older

October 11, 2022 at 2:33 p.m.
Pat D'Amico, Northwest Prime Time's Light Verse contributor in what she calls her "natural habitat" --
her easy chair.
Pat D'Amico, Northwest Prime Time's Light Verse contributor in what she calls her "natural habitat" -- her easy chair.

...by Pat D'Amico

Pat D’Amico, longtime light verse contributor to Northwest Prime Time, has compiled a few of her humorous poems about growing older. Enjoy.

Growing old isn’t inevitable. I’m grateful for every day that I’m still in the game. On the positive side, I don’t have a strict regimen. I can read, watch TV, mess around with my hobbies or take an afternoon nap if I feel like it. Time is a precious gift and I look forward to each new day.

On the other hand, I notice joints creaking. “I’ll run and get it” is a statement relegated to the past. I do not run! Doctor appointments are more frequent and meds pile up in the little pill minder pots. What else can I do but have a little fun with the downside:

My hair has turned to silver.
And my teeth are full of gold.
Sometimes my mettle’s tested
On the road to growing old.
I try to be respectful
And never rude or crass,
But my will has turned to iron
And I have a lot more brass.

Too many candles on my cake
And it seems like everyone mumbles.
I’ve given up coffee, butter and steak,
Ice cream and rhubarb crumbles.
I could recite a litany
Of grievances, there’s no doubt,
But the one that’s really bugging me
Is my birthday suit’s stretched out.

Sure, I know better, but I’m blaming a ghost.
My blood pressure’s up and my patience is toast.
My car keys are here—you must understand.
I had them, just moments ago, in my hand.
They say senior moments account for these follies,
But I still think that ghost is getting his jollies.

Stop and smell the roses
Is what they always say.
So think about your noses
Cause there will come a day
When time and tide will muffle
The whistles and the horns.
You’ll revel in the roses
But age can bring some thorns.

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