Even at my advanced age, I know I should exercise regularly, diligently, and faithfully. I know that if I walked a mile every day, my corpuscles would dance through my bloodstream. I know that if I did sit ups, I might recover a semblance of my former shape. I know squats would keep me from entertaining my neighbors when I’m pushing against my five-gallon paint/weed bucket trying to get up out of the flowerbed. I know if I lifted weights, my grocery bags would feel like they were filled with popcorn balls rather than lead balls. I know my Fitbit would give me a congratulatory zap on the wrist if I ever hit ten thousand steps in one day. In my own defense, I am not sedentary but…

GOOD INTENTIONS

Paved with good intentions, is the road to you know where

So, I won’t eat a candy, cookie, cake or an éclair.

I’ll exercise and energize till I am strong and sleek.

I’m full of motivation, so I just might start next week.

GYM DANDY

When birds of a feather work out together,

They all heed the call and the chirp

Of the headband crested, lycra chested

Urban aerobic twerp.

RAMPING IT UP

I can walk a mile

So, I thought I would try

To run for a while—

I thought I would die!

A FIRM PHILOSOPHY

I’ve formed a firm philosophy

About exercise devices:

I do not have to use them—

Just owning them suffices.