With Apologies to Edgar Allen Poe, Dr. Seuss and Mother Goose

| September 23, 2023
This photo of Pat D’Amico, longtime contributor to Northwest Prime Time, was taken the day of her 70th high school reunion. “I kept my mom’s house in Bellingham and the renters are wonderful. My daughter snapped the picture while I was looking around with great pleasure,” says Pat.

I have always loved poetry. It’s amazing the way that words can touch the heart and paint powerful pictures that convey love, beauty, joy, sorrow, fear, loss, irony or mirth. I’m especially drawn to rhyming poetry with cadence added into the mix. Light verse is my absolute favorite because it’s just pure fun and it keeps my old brain cooking. It stands to reason that I would play around a little with parody:

SQUAWKING

Once upon a morning dreary,

I awakened bleak and bleary

Pondering a visage that was strutting to and fro–.

Stealing berries from my garden,

Not so much as beg your pardon,

Causing gentle hearts to harden–

How I hate that crow!

The droppings have been unrelenting.

My car is splattered and fermenting.

I feel better after venting.

Sorry, Mr. Poe.

SPAM

I do not like my eggs with Spam.

Who knows what they have tried to cram

Into that old familiar can

That’s recognized by every man

Whose mother shopped with ration books

And all the military cooks

Who never solved the mystery

Of what that hunk of gunk could be.

I do not like my eggs with Spam.

I like ham, that’s how I am.

A GYM DANDY IDEA

Little Miss Muffet got off her tuffet

And hopped on an exercise bike.

Along came a rider who worked out beside her,

Causing his brain cells to spike:

“I propose,” said he (a grad of MIT

And a certified innovator)

“That we use all this vim and connect every gym

To some kind of a generator.

The surplus of power produced by the hour

Would crank of a lot. Of juice

And the trimming of thighs would light the night skies,

So help me, Mother Goose.”

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