A Hex on the Hacker

August 22, 2023 at 5:58 p.m.

...by Pat D'Amico

When I was a young child, I was afraid of monsters hiding in my bedroom closet. Fast forward to today: I’m afraid of the monsters hiding in the sleek and shiny computer on my lap. It seems I’m always one errant click away from disaster. Here’s what I think about the fraudsters, scammers and hackers lying in wait in my computer:

Your credit score, sadly, has dropped like a rock
Just click on this link and let’s have a talk.
You have just purchased a pricy food chopper
Just click on this link if you don’t think it’s proper.
Your computer’s infected and so is your cell
Just click on this link and we’ll fix that as well.
A measure of caution and a lot of quick thinking
Will save your behind from impulsive link clicking.

I am sending a hex and a pox
From my head right down to my sox
On all of the email swill
Received daily against my will;
So why won’t the powers that be
Look out for the likes of me
And levy disdain and damnation
On the sellers of my information.

May your fingers get cramps, your computer lose amps
And your mouse sprout a fungal condition.
May digestive distress leave your shorts in a mess
And your mind with diminished cognition.
When you’re starting to hack, may you sit on a tack
As a fitting and fair retribution.
A rash you will catch, you will burn, itch and scratch
Till you’re caught and must pay restitution.

This photo of Pat D’Amico, longtime contributor to Northwest Prime Time, was taken the day of her 70th high school reunion. “I kept my mom’s house in Bellingham and the renters are wonderful. My daughter snapped the picture while I was looking around with great pleasure,” says Pat.


Share this story!