Celebrating Life Over 50 in the Puget Sound Region and Beyond

My Hair Looks Awful

THE ONGOING, LIFE-AFFIRMING ADVENTURES OF ROSE AND DAWN

August 15, 2023 at 11:34 a.m.

...by Diana Couture

Since 2009, Diana Couture has been delighting Northwest Prime Time readers with the ongoing adventures of Rose and Dawn, our favorite Octogenarians.

Rose wiped the steam off the mirror in the bathroom of her Green Lake home. It’s been a lot of years, she thought, since John installed this fancy, lighted mirror as a part of the bathroom remodel. But in her eyes, it was still the most beautiful, stylish bathroom mirror and she loved it. The bathroom design has held up well over the last 40-something years, she thought, “There’s nothing dated about the green porcelain tub or commode. Really, how could anyone NOT love the mottled Formica countertops and off-white shag rug?” Rose sighed and continued curling her hair with rollers of the same vintage as the bathroom.

“Wait a minute,” Rose thought as she looked more closely at her scalp in the mirror. “Is that scalp that I see instead of hair? What is happening? Why am I seeing so much scalp all of a sudden?” She parted her hair this way and that while staring in the mirror and came to the undeniable conclusion that her hair was thinning. With that on her mind, she ran to the phone to do what any woman would do in this situation… call her best friend!

“Dawnie, you’re not going to believe what I just discovered,” Rose shouted as Dawn answered the phone. “Not another rat, I hope,” Dawn responded. “No, no. It’s worse than that. No, this has to do with my hair. It’s…well, it’s uhm…thinner than it was yesterday, or EVER!”

Dawn laughed with relief. “Uh, Rose, I hate to be the one to tell you but when a woman gets to a…uhm, certain age, her hair naturally starts thinning.”

“So what is that age? Is it automatically when you hit 80 that you lose your hair?” Rose questioned sincerely.

“No, honey. It’s not any specific age, it just happens as a part of the aging process.”

“Well, I don’t like it one bit,” Rose sniffed. “Not one darn bit. Now what am I supposed to do? Get a wig?”

“Hey, that’s not a half bad idea, Rose. I know that Helen at church wears a wig, and she always looks good.” Rose was horrified.

“Are you kidding? Really? Helen looks like an alien with that big head of hair. I can’t wear a wig! I just can’t. My face is too small and I’ll look like… well, like Helen,” she cried.

“How about hair transplants?” Rose questioned.

“Now you’re kidding, right, Rose? It costs thousands of dollars to get individual hair plugs surgically placed IN your scalp. Do you have that kind of money?” Dawn hollered.

“OK, OK, maybe I’m overreacting. But what am I going to do? I can’t leave this house because my hair looks awful,” she cried.

Both of the octogenarians thought of their plans for a movie later that afternoon at the same time.

“What about our movie, Rose? I really don’t want to miss this because of your hair,” Dawn chided. “Besides, I think it’s been thinning for years. You must have just noticed now because you put new light bulbs in that gaudy bathroom mirror of yours,” Dawn commented off-handedly.

Rose was shocked and mad as a hornet. The few hairs left on her head were standing on end. Not only did Dawn tell her that her hair has looked awful for years, but she mentioned Rose’s prize bathroom mirror and said it was...u-g-l-y. “Just a darn minute, Dawn. How could you say such things to me? Your best friend,” Rose was shouting.

Dawn held the phone away from her ear and thought for a minute, Rose is right. I shouldn’t have said those things. Why did I do that? “Uhm…Oh dear, I’m so sorry, Rose. I… I haven’t eaten this morning and am a little crabby. Blood sugar, you know. And the movie…I really want to go and see the movie. I think I overreacted to your overreaction. I wish I could suck the words back into my mouth.”

“Well,” Rose responded. “We both know you can’t un-ring a bell. So the only fair thing is to balance the scales by my saying two critical things about your hair and your home.”

Dawn thought for a minute and sighed. “I think this is stupid, but if it will make you happy, go ahead.”

“HA. Your hair is frizzy and your carpet needs cleaning.” Dawn’s mouth fell open.

“Rose, that is so unkind…true, but unkind.”

And life goes on for Rose and Dawn

Diana Couture

The Ongoing, Life-Affirming Adventures of Rose and Dawn was inspired by Diana Couture’s aunt and her aunt’s best friend. This colorful column was born when she set about telling these dear octogenarians’ true-life experiences. Rose and Dawn remain perennial 80-somethings to this day. Diana's entertaining Italian family continues to inspire her to write; the stories literally come from what happens to Diana, her friends and family.