In 1956, my first job as a teacher paid $3600 a year. Figuring out my income tax was straightforward and easy. Then came marriage, children, home ownership, deductions, additions, changes in tax law and etc. I have never cheated the IRS nor do I ever intend to in the future. Still, I feel that an agent somewhere is hovering and ready to pounce while shouting, “AUDIT!”
I once had a little misunderstanding with Uncle Sam and tried to speak with someone to straighten it out. In the hour that I spent on hold, I had plenty of time to write a few verses:
MOVING TOWARD APRIL FIFTEENTH
I have gathered all my paperwork.
My intentions are sincere.
I have to pay my income tax
And my heart is tinged with fear.
I add, subtract and calculate,
Using all of my acumen,
But still, I hyperventilate
Because I’m only human.
CUSTOMER SERVICE LINE
I need to have a little chat
With the IRS about this and that.
It seems Uncle Sam has quibbled with me
And wants to extract a penalty.
A measured voice laid out a venue
That pointed to a certain menu
To find the things I need to know
To pay them what they say I owe.
An hour has passed and I’m still here.
My phone’s going dead and so is my ear.
Call me a crank, a curmudgeon or jerk
But I have to point out how our tax dollars work.
APRIL FLOWER GIRLS
Daisies and Roses inspire usBut everyone’s scared of IRS!