A Guide to Wine and Freeway Driving

The ongoing, life-affirming adventures of Rose and Dawn
July 26, 2022 at 7:00 p.m.


...by Diana Couture

Why do I have to pick out a good bottle of wine, Rose wondered.
“It’s not like this is my niece’s first wedding,” she told herself. “Couldn’t she just buy some of that stuff in the box and call it good?”


Rose called Dawn to ask her how she went about buying a bottle of wine. “I always look for the prettiest label.”


“Pretty label? That can’t be scientific,” said Rose.


“You didn’t ask how a scientist picks out wine, you asked how I pick out wine,” Dawn snapped back.


“I think I can do better than that. We’ll go to Costco. They have people there who can help us, and we can save a couple of bucks in the process. Wanna go for a ride?”


Hmmm. How to get to Costco without getting on the freeway… that was the question. They were usually chauffeured by relatives on such a big adventure as Costco.


There are many reasons for two ladies in their eighties to stay off the freeway, not the least of which is the Seattle traffic, which can turn a nice drive into a hair-raising experience all in the blink of a wandering eye.  
The two didn’t know all the ins and outs of the newfangled car navigation device, so instead decided to use their imaginations. They headed south, laughing and talking about Dawn’s granddaughter who had just gotten accepted into the youth symphony, and…


The next thing they knew they were merging with the Friday afternoon car crowds onto the I-5 freeway!


Once they realized that, they both started screaming. Loud screaming! Rose had to practically slap Dawn to remind her that they were driving the speed limit, had merged smoothly into traffic, and seemed to be doing an okay job of fighting the traffic.


Finally, the screaming stopped. Dawn looked around and agreed that Rose was, in fact, doing a good job of driving…. almost like she was 50 years old instead of 80-plus.


Now, to find the Costco from the freeway, that was going to be a challenge.


Dawn, being the smart mouth that she was, pointed out that if Rose didn’t get off, the two might end up in Portland.


Rose gave Dawn a powerful stink-eye and put on the turn signal. Fat chance! People on the freeway that Friday afternoon would probably have run down the Pope-mobile.


But, with just the right amount of gumption, aggressiveness and a pinch of hatred for other drivers, Rose successfully transferred lanes and dropped the car soundly into the heart of downtown Seattle. But, now it was the turn lanes, pedestrians, traffic lights….oh my.


Dawn was mute in the passenger seat, stunned beyond logical thought until Rose slipped into the center lane of traffic and went along with the flow.


Dawn suddenly made a grunting noise and began to point at a street sign. Was it? Could it be? Yes, there was Costco. After a smooth turn and a whip of the steering wheel, Rose and Dawn were safe in the parking lot.


Rose grabbed the first handicapped spot she saw, and Dawn grabbed the parking permit to hang on the rearview window. The girls never left home without that little piece of gold.


Rose started to get out of the car but realized what she’d done. She had successfully traversed the Seattle Friday afternoon traffic on the freeway and gotten them to where they needed to be. She had done it safely and without loss of life.


She was exhausted.


When Dawn said, “Come on, Rose. Let’s buy the wine,” Rose looked at her and said, “Go in without me. Just get one with a pretty label.”

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