Pre-Sixth Month Jitters
I can lift my arms all the way
over my head now, a small miracle
remembering how it felt like I’d
become a T-Rex, tiny arms helpless
at my sides after the surgery
that rid me of the cancer,
freed me to live an authentic life…
the tomboy grown up and comfortable
with my own maleness
now integrated with the female boy
the sissy boy inside, like a peppermint
candy, multiple stripes, all me
but I’m still nervous to take this
still healing body for my sixth month
checkup, like taking a car in for maintenance
to see if “bad roomie” might be trying
to make a reappearance, somewhere
little enemy, hiding out of sight, never out of
mind, just a thought, or a bruise I can’t
remember where it came from, this ache
that pinch, there, there, there
and then I remember, most folks get five years
even with radiation and chemo and I did neither
and have my own healer team, my own chemo
wheatgrass, turmeric, spinning my chakras
as ordered by my naturopath, and the reiki
I stream everyday like lighting through this body
so I put worry in a drawer, take a deep breath, keep
moving, don’t look at a certain date on my August calendar.
James A. Stansberry is a poet, philosopher, and Washingtonian who had this piece in Sharing Stories in September 12, 2016. Good enough to read again.
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