The Sweet Hereafter

I recently took an informal survey to learn about people's final wishes for their bodies after they die. Below you can read the surprisingly diverse range of answers amongst the mere nine respondents.

But first, I'll outline my own wishes (making it an even 10).

I would like a green burial, which is considered more environmentally friendly than traditional burial or cremation. Options range from human composting -- where your body becomes soil over the course of 45 days (a process pioneered in Seattle in 2019); to aquamation (using water and alkali salts so your remains become an ash-like substance without the need for cremation); to the old-fashioned, original green burial -- where your body is not embalmed and is placed in a biodegradable casket (think pine box) and lowered into the earth to be naturally composted over time. Add in a silk shroud and this pretty much describes how one of my close friends will be buried, following the tenets of her Baha'i faith. 

I plan to rest in an earth-friendly, biodegradable pod with soil and tree roots placed in the pod (AND with the ashes of my dearly departed pets to be buried with me). So a tree will have its roots within the pod and grow skyward on top of me. This burial method is called a tree pod. 

According to one quick Internet search, tree pod and other green burials can be done on private property or public lands with permission. There are also dedicated green burial spaces available in natural burial grounds and conservation cemeteries. Some hybrid cemeteries offer areas for organic burials. My hope is that by the time I die, locations permitting green burials will proliferate and be widely available in protected, natural settings throughout the land. 

I have chosen an apple tree as the plant to grow above me in the pod. While I do love apple trees, they aren't my very favorite kind of tree; however, over the past 20 years, I've observed that of all the trees on our property (which include various evergreens and large deciduous trees, plus many fruit trees -- from apple, cherry, plum, pears, quince, figs, peach and even a nectarine tree)... it's our old, prolific apple tree that seems to provide the most advantage to birds, beneficial insects and other wildlife. The bees find sweet nectar in the springtime, birds eat the blossoms, they nest and find protection within the branches. Birds and other wildlife are sustained over a long, dark winter by the apples that fall to the ground. In especially productive years, the fallen apples provide forage until February, when the buds of early-blooming cherry trees begin to unfurl once again.

My brother and his wife originally wanted cremation but are now investigating the different green burial options. In terms of what to do with his remains from whatever method they choose, cremation or green burial, my brother remarked, "Just dig a hole in the front yard and throw me in there where the dogs are buried!"

One sister has a more traditional approach in mind. While she may want to be cremated (or possibly have her body buried), her most important wish is that she is laid to rest in the cemetery adjacent to where our parents are buried. She is on the lookout for the unoccupied burial sites next to my parents, hoping one will become available on the resale market. While she finds it comforting to contemplate resting next to our parents, her main reason is for the visitors. The site is home to the remains of our parents, our grandparents, our aunt, her husband, and one of our sisters. "Whenever somebody comes to visit one of our relatives, they will see my name and remember me, too," she said. 

My cousin plans to donate her body to science, just like her mother did before her. Donating your body to science is an altruistic act that helps researchers and students in medical school advance their knowledge. There are no costs involved, and when the institution is done with your remains, they will be cremated. Loved ones can opt to receive back the remains if desired. And unlike organ donation, age doesn't matter. "A 96-year-old heart is still as valuable as a 26-year-old heart in our world," said Heidi Kayser, who was director of donor education and outreach at MedCure. 

My significant other (and co-owner of Northwest Prime Time) wants his final resting place with me. I have to say that is the most romantic thing he's ever said to me because I thought he would want his ashes scattered in far-flung destinations mirroring his love of travel, or possibly in the ocean where his mother and brother roam. Both of us plan to have the ashes of our dearly departed pets buried with us. We've had A LOT of pets over the years but have mostly settled the argument of who gets which pets' ashes since we will likely end up together anyway.

My oldest sister's husband wants to be cremated, and his ashes divided. Half will be spread from a remote rock in Lake Chelan, which has been a favorite swimming destination since they started taking their young children to Chelan more than 40 years ago. His own boyhood vacations introduced him to area; he and my sister continue to take frequent vacations there. He has specified that whoever spreads his ashes must swim to the rock rather than pull up in a boat. This should not be a problem since he has instilled the tradition into his two boys. The other half of his ashes will be scattered in Fauntleroy Cove from West Seattle's Lincoln Park, just a hop, skip and a jump from where he grew up. 

My other sister's longtime boyfriend also has specific instructions on scattering his ashes. He wants a portion of his ashes in Puget Sound, scattered from Burien's Three Tree Point where he used to swim as a boy, and possibly some scattered in the waters off Alki (where he and my sister used to live). Possibly some of his ashes will make it to the Atlantic Ocean from Palmetto, Florida, where they used to spend the winter months. While his pioneering ancestors have their own section in Lake View cemetery near Volunteer Park, there are no plots available; still, perhaps a few of his ashes will settle in with his forebears. But he declares that a token amount MUST be flushed down the toilet. Doesn't matter which toilet... although now that he has a fancy, high-tech bidet toilet seat that he's fallen in love with, he may end up specifying that particular toilet, adorned as it is with all the bells and whistles. 

If that isn't funny enough, next comes the comic relief... My eldest sister often says she plans to live forever, or at least as long as her kids are alive. If for some reason that turns out not to be possible, then she would consider a holographic representation of herself with hundreds of messages in her own voice so that she can still converse with her offspring. AND/OR she may want to be taxidermied and placed on a hand truck so they can wheel her around from room to room with them... She really wants to be in the know even after she's no longer with us. 

I think she is only half kidding.

There you have it. Life in the sweet hereafter.