Friendships

Having friendships is a blessing that comes with a life well lived. 

Many years ago, I found that I enjoy being around people far more than being alone. Then I discovered that I prefer the closeness of personal sharing in a real friendship over typical impersonal party talk with casual acquaintances. Thoughts and knowledge received from friends have helped me make better decisions. Discussing our individual experiences has broadened my perspective of ways to handle the ongoing problems that come with life.

When I see a close friend walking down the street, a smile forms naturally and involuntarily. Whether sharing a problem or a joy, our friendship becomes a positive connection which lightens and brightens each of our spirits. Relating recent positive experiences can keep us closer in touch and add renewed enjoyment of the moments. Memories last longer when refreshed.

Maintaining active friendships keeps them vibrant and up to date. Social media, texting or email make the process faster, but phone calls and personal contact are still richer and more lasting. Volunteering to help a friend in need helps strengthen our friendship. Accepting help from a friend also tightens our bond. Simply thinking of what someone else might enjoy helps make us more desirable as a friend.

As we grow older on our journey through life, we tend to lose friends. Some move, others die, but still others just drift away as they pursue new hobbies and interests. Making new friends then becomes more important. Having acquired many hobbies and interests over the years, I often invite new acquaintances to join me in pursuing them. The time we spend together gives us a chance to get better acquainted. If we then find we are compatible, we can work on developing a friendship. The important thing is having some initial common interest or activity that allows time to develop a meaningful connection.

When my wife, Linda, developed heart conditions that kept her from accompanying me on many of the activities I enjoy, she encouraged me to find new, preferably younger, friends to join me. This has worked well, especially when my hobby takes me on long drives where I tend to crave company and conversation. Simply asking two or three people to join me on a fun outing creates more prospects for future outings because social groups tend to talk about the outing with their friends, who then ask to be included on your next adventure!

It is not critical that friends agree on everything. It is more important to accept our friends as they are and hope that they accept us as we are in return. Even when we have differences to resolve, it is best to ask them for their ideas in dealing with the problem before we express our own. Sometimes their solution is the best, and we might not have gotten it if we had not asked.

The important thing is not to allow an issue to get in the way of friendship. When my wife and I disagree on something, we have learned to suggest playing a game of cards with the winner being declared to be right. Using this approach, we have discovered most often the issue itself was not all that important... avoiding getting angry with one another was important. 

The game of life becomes immeasurably richer when shared. 

Finding and keeping friends is an ongoing effort, but the rewards of connecting with others can be well worth the energy expended.

Roger Urbaniak writes about the Great Outdoors and other topics from his home on Mercer Island. “Rogers Outdoor Channel” is the place to learn about the adventures of Northwest Outdoor Enthusiast Roger Urbaniak along with his lovely wife Linda and trusty pooch Sparky.