Relevance and Cheap Perfume

Today we find our heroines eating lunch at one of their favorite Thai restaurants in Fremont and discussing being ‘relevant’ in later years of life. 

“I don’t know Rose,” Dawn growled. “But I think we listened to our parents more than the younger generation listens to us. If my father said not to do something, we didn’t do it…end of story. Even after us kids got married, we still listened to what he said. Was it that way when you were growing up?” 

Rose didn’t have to contemplate for even a minute before she responded. “It was exactly that way when I was growing up. My father ran the house with a big Italian iron fist. He was the patriarch and that was that. No one questioned his decisions. Well, one of my brothers did once, but then he was asked to leave the house—permanently. So, the rest of us learned never to question the old man.” 

Dawn looked puzzled. “It sure isn’t that way today. It’s the other way around…the younger generation tries to tell the older generation what to do. And the computers make everything easier, so they don’t need our knowledge.” 

Rose smiled as she slurped a Phad Thai noodle that was trying to escape her mouth. “Does that surprise you, Dawnie? Be real. Get with the program. We have to make ourselves relevant and remember that we’re the ones with life experience and wisdom. If the kids don’t want to ask questions, then let them find out the hard way…on their own.” 

Now it was Dawn’s turn to smile. “Wow, Rose, you’re so feisty. I guess you’re right. We’re like walking encyclopedias, but if no one uses us, it doesn’t make us any less smart. It’s their loss.” 

Just then the smiling proprietress approached the table to offer to fill their water glasses. The girls slid dishes and glasses around to make access easier for the woman and smiled in thanks. Rose watched her walk away and wished her perfume were a little less odiferous. “I wonder if she has the same feelings of irrelevance. I wonder if younger people in her life look to her for answers to the mysteries of life.”

Dawn was now wiping tears from her eyes. “Oh no, Dawnie. Have I made you cry with my feelings of inadequacy?” Rose asked worriedly. Dawn responded with a chuckle. “No, no Rose. It’s the perfume. The woman’s perfume is soooo strong. It got me as she reached to fill the glass.” The laughter was in earnest at this time. “Should we tell her?” Rose queried with a snicker. “Or would she even listen, since we’re just a couple of old ladies?” “Old ladies with properly working noses.” Dawn guffawed. 

The women bent their heads down to their plates and continued giggling as quietly as possible as the proprietress passed by again. The cloud of cheap perfume followed her like a faithful dog. 

“Rose, there’s a lesson here,” Dawn said while wiping peanut sauce from the tip of her nose. We need to live and let live. That’s the way we stay relevant in today’s society. Let other people, even those we love, make their own mistakes and only offer answers when asked.” 

“That’s very wise of you to say, Dawnie. Possibly you are right. But it’s so hard to do. For example, to watch my niece try to get her towels white without using bleach just kills me. I want to tell her, for the love of God, put some bleach in the load. But I don’t want to appear bossy, so she continues to have dingy towels. Is that what you mean?” 

“Well, yes. I think that IS what I mean. I was thinking more along the line of life’s emotional troubles, but white towels work, too. If the younger generation wants to know, they just have to learn how to ask us. And not depend on the computer Google.” 

“Okay, Dawn. I’ll bite my tongue and remain mute even when I want to scream that there might be a better way to do things. But really, can’t we start this new phase of our relevance tomorrow? We NEED to offer some guidance to our hostess about the power of subtlety when it comes to the application of perfume. She NEEDS to know!” 

Diana Couture's series, The Ongoing, Life-Affirming Adventures of Rose and Dawn, was inspired by Diana Couture’s aunt and her aunt’s best friend. This colorful column was born when she set about telling these dear octogenarians’ true-life experiences. Rose and Dawn remain perennial 80-somethings to this day. Diana's entertaining Italian family continues to inspire her to write; the stories literally come from what happens to Diana, her friends and family.