Yoga? Are you kidding me?

Since 2009, Diana Couture has been delighting Northwest Prime Time readers with the ongoing adventures of Rose and Dawn, our favorite Octogenarians. 


 

Rose and Dawn were relaxing in the sun on Rose’s large front porch. The din of the traffic on Latona Avenue was oddly soothing rather than annoying and the eighty-plus-year-old women were sipping homemade lemonade.

“See Dawn, it’s good to be out in the hot weather sometimes. The sun has vitamin D and it’s good for us to sweat a little bit to clear out our pores. Are you feeling the health benefits?”

Dawn looked at Rose while her sunglasses slipped down her damp nose.

“NO! I’m not feeling the health…I’m feeling the HEAT. Let’s go into the air conditioning,” she whined.

“Alright, alright. You’re such a heat wimp.”

With that remark, the girls rose slowly and noisily from their outdoor chairs and trundled into Rose’s air-conditioned living room.

“Ahh,” sighed Dawn. “This is just what the doctor ordered.”

“You know Dawnie, I was thinking of taking a Yoga class and I would like you to go with me. It’s supposed to be perfect for those of us who are…well…a little less active than we were earlier in our lives. Well, I’ll just say it… it’s good for old people!”

“Yoga? Are you kidding me?” Dawn howled. “All that bending and stretching? I think you even have to get down on the ground. So, how do we get back UP again? Answer me that!”

“Ha. You’re so funny, Dawn. We don’t have to get on the ground if we don’t want to. We can just skip that part of the program. Anyway, I’ve signed us up for an ‘over 60’ class.”

“Now, who’s being funny, Rose? We haven’t been in that age group for two decades.” Dawn laughed as she said this because she knew she was going to ‘cave’ to Rose’s request. She

might as well have some fun with it.

The day arrived for the dreaded yoga class. Dawn dug out some old capri pants that she had worn in the hot summers of Fresno. She reluctantly bought a mat that the class description said you HAD to have. She certainly wasn’t going to sit on the floor on that skinny piece of spongy thing. While she was staring at the sky-blue colored mat, she heard the ‘beep, beep’ of Rose’s little car.

Dawn struggled up the stairs of her lower-level apartment and flopped into the front seat with a heavy sigh.

“I reeeeaaaalllyyy don’t want to do this, Rose. Really.”

Rose gave Dawn a side glance and winked. “We’re gonna have a good time, deary. I promise. It’s something new and we must embrace new things, otherwise people will think

we’re old and set in our ways.”

Again, Dawn laughed and replied, “We ARE old and set in our ways!” The women laughed at their fears and headed in the direction of the yoga studio.

The other people in the class seemed very familiar with what to do. They unrolled their mats on the floor, put their water bottles next to the mat, started standing on one foot and

stretching.

Dawn looked at Rose with terror in her eyes. Rose gently pushed Dawn to a corner of the room with space for two mats.

The bouncy yoga teacher came into the room with a flourish. Annie, she said was her name, and yoga was her game. She pulled her long white hair into a messy, high ponytail and

immediately began speaking in another language while folding her hands in front of her and bowing. The entire class said the same foreign words and bowed back. Rose and Dawn looked at each other and followed suit.

Well, thought Dawn, that wasn’t too hard.

Then the torture started, with no further fanfare. The stretching turned into toe touching and then the hands in the air with one foot off the ground.

“I’m going to GET you for this, Rose,” Dawn whispered angrily. Rose couldn’t respond because she was in a downward dog position facing the other way.

She slowly turned to Dawn with a grimace on her face. “Believe me Dawnie, finishing this class will be enough to GET me. Whose idea was this anyway?” Rose hissed.

Annie the instructor walked toward the girls and adjusted their poses. “Good work ladies. I can’t believe this is your first time. You’re a couple of naturals.”

“Thanks Annie,” a sweaty Rose quipped. “Dawn and I have been really looking forward to this class!”

***

Diana Couture

The Ongoing, Life-Affirming Adventures of Rose and Dawn was inspired by Diana Couture’s aunt and her aunt’s best friend. This colorful column was born when she set about telling these dear octogenarians’ true-life experiences. Rose and Dawn remain perennial 80-somethings to this day. Diana's entertaining Italian family continues to inspire her to write; the stories literally come from what happens to Diana, her friends and family.