Set in My Ways

Sharing Stories

June 5, 2023 at 6:00 a.m.

"Old fashioned" can be better than new!

...by Janice Van Cleve

SET IN MY WAYS

After all the years we have spent on this planet, we seniors have developed coping mechanisms and survival strategies to successfully meet most of the challenges that Life puts in our path. Our parents and grandparents and those before them all the way back in time did the same.

These coping mechanisms and survival strategies were passed down from generation to generation in the hopes that their descendants could benefit from them. Sometimes this advice from elders was counted as wisdom and so long as the challenges remained at least somewhat familiar, the advice could be a useful guide.

That was the last millennium. Things are moving and changing so fast in this millennium that many of our strategies lose their applicability much sooner than before. Only the most timeless wisdom still finds traction in this modern age – at least until AI creates an app for that.

The effect of this speeded up pace of change is compounded for seniors by the fact that we are living longer. This causes the strategies that may have had a useful life span for at least a generation or two, now to rarely cover the span our own lives.

This phenomenon is not limited to the wisdom we’ve acquired. Even our daily routines and motor reflexes are affected. Over our years, we developed routines because they worked, and we could perform them successfully while our brains were engaged elsewhere. By doing the same things the same way every time, we built up motor reflex habits or “cellular memory” that did not require thinking about it. These are a big help in our old age. As our short-term memories decline, these habits still enable us to perform our daily tasks successfully.

No wonder we can get confused when we move into a new home late in life, not to mention a senior living facility. No wonder we prefer to stay in our own houses where everything is still where we put it. In an ever-changing world in which our strategies may not work like they used to, it is no wonder we resist change more strongly than we may have in the past. In fact, our aging bodies may no longer be as able to perform the strategies we do know or our minds may forget our strategies completely.

So it is not uncommon for us seniors to feel a bit lost and alone, out of place in a world that in some ways has passed us by. Even the shape of our cities and our very neighborhoods are no longer familiar as new construction removes old landmarks or demolishes places in which ghosts of our past experiences still lingered. It is even more poignant when people we knew, worked with, even loved, pass away and yet we remain here.

I may be set but I am not frozen. I continue to travel and don’t mind booking my own flights, trains, and lodgings when necessary but these days I am more willing to take a preplanned tour. I do enjoy “working” the stock market, but I don’t hike anymore, nor do I kayak, visit the spa, work on mountain trails, or a bunch of other things that used to be important in my life.

I feel very fortunate in the friends I have made here and around the world and I communicate with them as often as I can. Not only do my travels provide me with colorful memories but I have also turned them into presentations which are fun to give at the senior center. The pleasure and purpose I find in research, writing, volunteering, wine tasting, and Wicca remain with me.

Nevertheless, in other aspects I have become more set in my ways. I want my supper at 6:00 and bedtime is 9:00. I prefer my old Windows XP operating system to constant updates that I don’t need. I like my landline phone which has real buttons I can push to talk to people, and I use a regular camera to take pictures. I like email and I have taken to Zoom but I don’t text. I drive an 18-year-old Subaru and my fashion statement is “warm and comfortable.” I don’t stream movies. Instead, I use my television to watch DVDs I get from the public library. Most of all, I really don’t like to be told I need yet another password and how it must be formatted.

So go ahead and call me “Okay Boomer!” I like my strategies and coping mechanisms just as they are.

Janice Van Cleve, longtime Seattleite, also studies the archeology and history of the ancient Maya. Copyright 2023. Janicevc@seanet.com..

SHARING STORIES is a weekly column for and about the 50 plus crowd living in the Puget Sound region. Send your stories and photos to ariele@comcast.net. Tell local or personal stories; discuss concerns around aging and other issues; share solutions, good luck, and reasons to celebrate; poems are fine too. Pieces may be edited or excerpted. We reserve the right to select among pieces. Photos are always a plus and a one-sentence bio is requested (where you live, maybe age or career, retired status, etc.).
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