Eyes on the Prize

 

Eyes on the Prize 

First published 1/2012.

                Recently, a writing student told me, “I want to get my stories out there so much I feel like I'll burst sometimes. I want this too damn badly.” My heart sank for her.

                Like heavy people coveting slenderness, sick people desperately seeking wellness, those craving more money, or singles longing to marry, writers who yearn to be published—or even to complete a project—are focusing on the wrong thing.

                Problems with wanting:  1) As long as we believe in following our painfully intense desire, we can’t embrace having the goal. You can’t want and have at the same moment. 2) Wanting something also implies unhappiness in the present stage. We’ve been told this millions of times. If you want to lose weight or get healthier, learn to love your body the way it is now. If you want more money, be grateful for resources you currently have. If you want good writing, focus on the joys of doing it.

              In 35 years of working with writers for my publications and as clients and students, I’ve seen some winners and many “yearners.”

                Winners: ALWAYS seem strong, confident, grateful, cooperative, positive, expecting the best, expecting to work and be nice to people to get what they want. They give credit to others whenever possible. They are affable, easygoing, enthusiastic. They enjoy the process even more than the acquisition of goals, which they understand are transitory. They don’t glamorize being published, are unpretentious no matter what they’ve achieved. 

                Yearners: Always seem worried, in pain, tormented emotionally. They want to cut short the process—including improvement of their work—and hop to the outcome. They often blame problems on something outside themselves—the whole publishing field, even spouses and mentors. They yearn for the best but continually anticipate the worst. They are too aggressive or too passive in dealings, often by turns. They have an inflated view of the day-to-day of being an author—the influence or money it will bring as well as how it will make them feel and change every element of their lives. 

No one is required to stay in the “yearner” category. A change in attitude fixes things rapidly. Simply, stop caring about the end result. You will still do all the things that lead you to goals, you’ll just have more energy to do them.

It’s easy. Start by taking a hard look at the reality of what you’re craving. Publishing nets small money, even for the quite successful. Only a tiny group attains much money, fame, or power. You will most likely not be one of them.  Likewise, books (poems, etc.) are read only by a small number of people. If you crave changing people or being heard by large numbers, that’s also extremely unlikely. If any of these should come, be pleasantly surprised. Like being wealthy or optimally thin, success in publishing is highly over-rated as a path to happiness.

                What works? Follow your bliss. Enjoy your work or don’t do it. Celebrate accomplishments. Share joys. Be grateful. Be flexible and persist—traits that win in every field of endeavor. Keep your eyes on the real prize—creating an outstanding written product.

               

                For 2023 fun with writing and help with success, join me in my ZOOM group on Thursdays 3pm to 4:30pm. Connect for more info at ariele@comcast.net. Or call the Greenwood Senior Center at 206-296-0875.

                In February 2023, Ancient Healing Methods for Modern Stress will be offered through Edmonds Waterfront Center as a ZOOM group. AHMMS is designed to help us relax and rejoin life after some stressful years. Connect with me at ariele@comcast.net or call the EWC at 425-774-5555.  

Ariele M. Huff hosts Sharing Stories, creates Writing Corner, gathers poems, and edits them for Poetry Corner. She teaches online, ZOOM, and Skype classes; edits manuscripts and authors books—over 30 on Amazon; and publishes herself and others on brands Candy Bar Books and Band Aid Books.

SHARING STORIES is a weekly column for and about the 50 plus crowd living in the Puget Sound region. Send your stories and photos to ariele@comcast.net. Tell local or personal stories; discuss concerns around aging and other issues; share solutions, good luck, and reasons to celebrate; poems are fine too. Pieces may be edited or excerpted. We reserve the right to select among pieces. Photos are always a plus and a one-sentence bio is requested (where you live, maybe age or career, retired status, etc.).
SHARING STORIES is featured on www.northwestprimetime.com, the website
for Northwest Prime Time, a monthly publication for baby boomers, seniors, retirees, and those contemplating retirement. For more information, call 206-824-8600 or visit www.northwestprimetime.com. To find other SHARING STORIES articles on this website type "sharing stories" or a writer’s name into the search function above.

---