Icing on the Cake: A Healthy Death

            One of the greatest blessings, I believe, is to have a healthy death.

One advantage of living a long life, your family (people) won’t need to cry at your funeral. Sadness about the physical loss but no tears. Acknowledgement, then a celebration of life. You’ve lived your life, accomplished your dreams and goals (maybe) and life, people and things have moved on.

One of my dreams, plans, in life was to let my children know their life span could be longer than 43, the year their father died. Or be shortened because of their ancestors limited life or societies assault on black men. My long life could give hope or possibilities to the lengthening of their lives.

Also, I felt, I was not able to provide any long-lasting financial assistance to them, but I could leave a legacy and bragging rights of what their mother, grandmother was (did) in her later years. My gift to my family…Bragging rights and the Gift of Possibilities.

Your mother (paternal and in one case maternal, grandmother and great grandmother) in her ninth decade of life was a published author and started a painting career. Longevity provided recognition for her long and extensive community contributions. And my physical, mental capabilities in the later years, my lifestyle and continuing activity, is the gift of possibilities vs society’s example of a defeated aging process. My gift to my family and, thereby, also to myself allows us to visualize a positive and productive possibility. A gift, regardless of the number of years, of a healthier and continuing productive life.

At this stage, my blessing would not necessarily be a longer life but a healthy death. Living a long life without purpose is not necessarily a gift. Having accomplished plans, wishes and some dreams both yours and God’s is the goal. Since I don’t know His plans, maybe I shouldn’t seek or aim for a longer life (106—recent desire) but instead a continuing productive one...and a healthy death. The type of death that at death there are a few tears but more a celebration of a life fully lived.

Delores Davis is a lifelong Washington resident and retired UW Hospital medical Social Worker who has shared a few other choice pieces with Northwest Prime Time.

SHARING STORIES is a weekly column for and about the 50 plus crowd living in the Puget Sound region. Send your stories and photos to ariele@comcast.net. Tell local or personal stories; discuss concerns around aging and other issues; share solutions, good luck, and reasons to celebrate; poems are fine too. Pieces may be edited or excerpted. We reserve the right to select among pieces. Photos are always a plus and a one-sentence bio is requested (where you live, maybe age or career, retired status, etc.).
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