Wounds and Gifts

Writing Corner
February 27, 2022 at 12:00 a.m.
Ariele M. Huff
Ariele M. Huff
...by ...by Ariele M. Huff

When I lead groups, I also am teaching a class. I don’t just give writing mechanics advice, although that too, requires teaching. 

The main lessons in my classes are how to make use of writing for whatever purpose individuals want: family legacies, publishing projects, personal growth, etc. Sometimes, people aren’t sure what they want or need from their writing. This column is a clue for writers of all kinds. 

From Shakespeare and Dickens to J.K. Rowling and Alice Walker, all writers are processing their lives in their work. The two main categories all of us bring are the wounds and the gifts we’ve received. Read the biographies of any author, journalist, poet or scriptwriter and you’ll discover that. 

Fiction and nonfiction require some kind of structure, some tension, and some “ornamentation” (descriptions and definitions). The occasions of getting our wounds and gifts have all those necessary elements. Plus, those times have the emotional power to motivate us to process them. Some people process by talking, some by thinking, some use visual arts, some become actors, some dance or play instruments, or become fully engaged in a physical sport. Many people write to process their wounds and gifts. 

Even those of us who have not intentionally worked with our past tend to come to that as we age. Yearning to understand our past…how we came to be who we are…increases as we reach our twilight years. 

Though I’m aware of doing this since childhood, my sixties brought a new immediacy to the job, and my seventies have only intensified that. Fortunately, recognizing wounds and gifts simplifies this task that can seem daunting. 

I recommend starting with a pair of lists: Wounds and Gifts. Include components of body health and appearance, random accidents and good fortune, as well as elements delivered by other people or animals. A couple of examples follow. 

Wounds: Born prematurely and small, overhearing Mom calling me “difficult,” being bullied in the third grade, Dad’s early death, my bad teeth, first boss firing me for taking a sick day, having a miscarriage.

Gifts: Unconditional love from my father, Mom modeling a strong woman supporting us, my slenderness and good fashion sense, meeting Mr. Johnson at the conference which led to my long-lasting job with Girl Clothes, getting brave enough to ask Jack to dance, Jack saying I’m the best wife he could imagine, daughter giving me a Best Mom mug. 

Of course, these lists can be really long and include every stinging insult and every satisfying compliment. The reality is that as you enumerate your hurts and happies, you will probably begin writing about one that especially grabs you. Great! The process is working…and that improves any writing project. 

I’m currently looking for a couple of people to join my Thursday afternoon ZOOM group and plan to create another one soon. I keep my groups small and friendly. Also, planning a one-time Processing Loss Workshop. Connect with me at ariele@comcast.net. 
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