Rookies at the Casino

“What if people are smoking in that place?” Dawn whimpered. “Well, you just grab the cigarette right out of their mouth and do the ‘Smokey the Bear Dance’ on that bad boy. Gosh, Dawn, I don’t know if you can even smoke in a Casino anymore. Maybe you have to go outside….. maybe they even have blackjack tables located outside!” Rose teased. “Sure, no problem for you, Rose, you don’t have angry sinuses like I do,” Dawn coughed out.

“Oh please. You’re as healthy as a horse…. well, a horse with bad knees.” Rose stared off into space and then focused on Dawn and asked, “Can you believe it? It’s been 60 years since we’ve been young.” “Speak for yourself, old lady. I’m a very spry, saucy 80+ year old and intend to stay that way,” Dawn volleyed back. “Well, spry with bad knees, of course.”

“Okay, there’s my point,” Rose quickly responded. “We’re spry and active and need to keep looking for new things to do…. like going to the Casino.” So, over tea and cookies it was agreed that the girls would head out on the Casino bus to gamble away tomorrow afternoon.

The bus picked them up at Northgate Mall in front of the Barnes and Nobel bookstore. Dawn wanted to go in and get a book on how to play the slot machines, but Rose refused. “Geesh, if you let everyone know you’re a rookie….well, it’s like being the new kid on the playground, they’ll eat you for lunch.” Rose informed urgently. “Well, they’re gonna know,” Dawn pouted, “as soon as I stand in front of a slot machine with no clue what to do.”

“All you have to do is put the coin in the slot and pull the arm. Simple. They call the slot machines ‘One Armed Bandits’, you know.” Rose added sagely. “Really?” Hmm, no problem, thought Dawn.

After a 99-cent lunch of Salmon and Chips in the Casino Cafe, Rose and Dawn walked nervously toward the gaming floor. They timidly approached two “Land of Cleopatra” slot machines sitting right next to each other. The machines didn’t look too scary. But they held no clue as to where to put the money. The girls looked high and low; up and down for the slot to put the money. They were eying in between machines when they spotted a man who was sitting a few seats away from them. They could ask him for help. But the smoke haze was dark and thick. They couldn’t decide which of them should risk lung damage for information.

Just when they were ready to give it up and do the walk of shame back to the Café, a friendly Casino worker came up and asked if they would like to buy a ticket. “A ticket for what? Do you have shows here?” Rose asked excitedly. The surprised casino worker held back a giggle and explained that the ticket is used in place of coins in the machines. 

Dawn straightened up and said, “Of course we knew that. How else would we be able to play these one-armed bandits? Right Rose? It’s not like we’re a couple of rookies”

“Well ma’am” said the employee, “I’m sure with your experience, you’ll know that there aren’t any arms on slot machines anymore.” Dawn smiled vacantly, handed him her $20 bill and got a ticket. When he walked away, she turned toward Rose and growled, “So, just put the coin in the slot and pull the handle, huh?” But Rose was lost in a smoke haze interviewing their neighbor regarding the proper way to play the slots.

She came back shortly with a knowing smile, a $20 ticket of her own, a slight wheeze and the distinct smell of cigar smoke on her jacket.

By the time they left, Rose was down $2.47 on a penny machine, but Dawn was thrilled to cash out her 1,200 points ($12). She didn’t care one whit that it took $20 to get there.