How to Write Your Own Obituary

When you pass away, who will tell the story of your life?

Generally, an obituary is written by someone close to the deceased to share a bit about their life and legacy. But this can be complicated for a grieving person. They have a short time during an emotional time to put together the details of another’s life that they may not fully know or recall.
Today, many people are starting to write their own obituaries before their deaths to have a say in how they’re remembered. Writing your own obituary allows you to share your perspective on your life, what was important to you, and a final message for the loved ones you leave behind.


Writing your own obituary can also be a very cathartic and healing process as you review your life path and the journeys that brought you to where you are now. If you’re dealing with a terminal illness, worsening memory or neurological problems, preparing an obituary now can be a positive way to take control of your own narrative. This way, you can decide for yourself what your last message to the world will be. Writing down your personal history allows you to share your memories, life, and lessons learned with others rather than leaving it to someone else to share their interpretation of you and your life.
 
Getting started 

If you’re feeling stuck or unsure where to start, the following steps and tips will help you get going:

1. Decide where you want to share your obituary and ask for the publication’s specific recommendations or requirements for length or content and how the submission process works. You don’t want to put all your effort into a meaningful obituary only to find out it doesn’t meet your chosen publication’s guidelines. Or many people utilize the free obituary posting service available at the funeral home handling the final arrangements.

2. As you begin the process of deciding what to include, think about why you’re writing your obituary. Who is it for? Do you want to inspire others? Encourage them? Warn others to avoid the mistakes you made? Or just share something about your life and time on this earth?

3. The obituary celebrates and provides a record of your unique, individual life. So, if you have the opportunity to write it, make it reflect your personality. It doesn’t have to be a serious or somber reflection; it should sound like you. Don’t be afraid to make jokes or be silly. Writing your own obituary means that you get to share your life with your own voice.

4. Some basic details that obituaries usually include are:

• your name
• birth and death dates
• other significant dates
• a list of close family or friends
• your education or career path
• notable achievements
• hobbies
• special interests
• places traveled
• things that emphasize your uniqueness
• your interests
• something that brought you joy or fulfillment
• funeral arrangements or a memorial, depending on your wishes

5. Your obituary is your place to leave your mark. So decide what’s important for you to communicate as your legacy. The content and the format are up to you. You might even want to write more than one version for different purposes. Maybe write a shorter version to be published in the newspaper or on the funeral home site. Then create a longer, memoir-like record of your life to share with loved ones.

6. Decide with whom you’ll entrust your obituary. This may be a trusted friend or family member, your lawyer (along with instructions in your will as to how your obituary will be shared), or an obituary service.

7. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Writing an obituary can be an overwhelming and emotional process. So talk with trusted family members or friends for emotional support and perhaps share your obituary for feedback.

Death is unpredictable, inevitable, and out of our control. For many, it makes the idea of dying scary and leads to avoiding dealing with anything related to it. When you choose to write your own obituary, you acknowledge this uncertainty and embrace the idea that none of us live forever – yet we can still make an impact even after we’re gone.

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