The Murder Mystery Genre
August 15, 2022 at 6:00 p.m.
Pat D'Amico, light verse contributor to Northwest Prime Time, has been known to laugh at the most inappropriate times
...by Pat D'Amico
I love a good “who done it.” I will admit to a slight pang of guilt as I’m eagerly flipping pages and thoroughly enjoying the tantalizing story around the demise of a fellow human being. However, it does not stop me from penning a few thoughts of my own:
MANOR HOUSE MURDER
The butler was stifling a chuckle;
The widow was laughing out loud;
The corpus delicti who hung by his necktie
Was drawing a big beaming crowd.
The maid who was doing the dishes
Was snickering into the suds;
The gardener and pool man were shouting, “That’s cool man!”
And toasting each other with “Buds.”
One could guess that the victim was cranky,
Obnoxious, offensive or rude—
But the cops can’t begin to find who did him in
Till they tone down the jubilant mood.
Who served her suitors lemonade.
Despite her charm, none ever tarried
And sadly, Dora never married.
Her will detailed her lemon cup—
When Dora died, we dug ‘em up.
You ate up half my brownie troop.
And in my teens—surprise! surprise!
All my boyfriends dropped like flies.
In truth, I really lost my trust
The day that Grandma bit the dust.
So I won’t call and I won’t write—
I just don’t have the appetite.
She had ruffled every space.
We all just stood there—horror struck—
As she bolted with the lace;
But scrawled upon a frou frou mirror
With a pretty purple pen
Was, “Someone stop me, for I fear
That I may frill again!”
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