Pre-Sixth Month Jitters

Pre-Sixth Month Jitters

I can lift my arms all the way

over my head now, a small miracle

remembering how it felt like I'd

become a T-Rex, tiny arms helpless

at my sides after the surgery

that rid me of the cancer,

freed me to live an authentic life…

the tomboy grown up and comfortable

with my own maleness

now integrated with the female boy

the sissy boy inside, like a peppermint

candy, multiple stripes, all me

but I'm still nervous to take this

still healing body for my sixth month

checkup, like taking a car in for maintenance

to see if “bad roomie” might be trying

to make a reappearance, somewhere

little enemy, hiding out of sight, never out of

mind, just a thought, or a bruise I can't

remember where it came from, this ache

that pinch, there, there, there

and then I remember, most folks get five years

even with radiation and chemo and I did neither

and have my own healer team, my own chemo

wheatgrass, turmeric, spinning my chakras

as ordered by my naturopath, and the reiki

I stream everyday like lighting through this body

so I put worry in a drawer, take a deep breath, keep

moving, don't look at a certain date on my August calendar.

James A. Stansberry is a poet, philosopher, and Washingtonian who had this piece in Sharing Stories in September 12, 2016. Good enough to read again. 

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