Pat D’Amico, longtime light verse contributor to Northwest Prime Time, has compiled a few of her humorous poems about growing older. Enjoy.

Growing old isn’t inevitable. I’m grateful for every day that I’m still in the game. On the positive side, I don’t have a strict regimen. I can read, watch TV, mess around with my hobbies or take an afternoon nap if I feel like it. Time is a precious gift and I look forward to each new day.

On the other hand, I notice joints creaking. “I’ll run and get it” is a statement relegated to the past. I do not run! Doctor appointments are more frequent and meds pile up in the little pill minder pots. What else can I do but have a little fun with the downside:

IT’S ELEMENTAL

My hair has turned to silver.

And my teeth are full of gold.

Sometimes my mettle’s tested

On the road to growing old.

I try to be respectful

And never rude or crass,

But my will has turned to iron

And I have a lot more brass.

BIRTHDAYS

Too many candles on my cake

And it seems like everyone mumbles.

I’ve given up coffee, butter and steak,

Ice cream and rhubarb crumbles.

I could recite a litany

Of grievances, there’s no doubt,

But the one that’s really bugging me

Is my birthday suit’s stretched out.

A GHOST STORY

Sure, I know better, but I’m blaming a ghost.

My blood pressure’s up and my patience is toast.

My car keys are here—you must understand.

I had them, just moments ago, in my hand.

They say senior moments account for these follies,

But I still think that ghost is getting his jollies.

A THORNY ISSUE

Stop and smell the roses

Is what they always say.

So think about your noses

Cause there will come a day

When time and tide will muffle

The whistles and the horns.

You’ll revel in the roses

But age can bring some thorns.