WHO YA GONNA CALL?

Every personal lawyer or financial consultant advises us to make a Will. They probably also advise us to designate a Power of Attorney to act on our behalf if we become incapacitated and a Directive to Physicians about life support when there is no hope of recovery. They usually also advise us to make funeral arrangements and a plan for the disposal of our remains. These are all practical and sensible ideas.

Yet there is one document that often gets missed in the discussion and that is a list of Who Ya Gonna Call? There are family and friends, business and political associates, lawyers and financial institutions, and organizations and people with whom we are closely connected who would be impacted by our departure and who would care. A number of deaths recently brought this home to me.

A former friend and hiking partner died last year and I did not know about it. He and I shared many hiking and camping adventures until he moved to Tacoma and we were a bit out of touch. Still, I included him on my story list and sent him birthday cards and the last time he responded. I had no idea that two months later he was taken into the hospital where he died. If a mutual friend had not called me, I would never have known. As I was attending his funeral, another dear friend died. She was 96 and I visited her often in the retirement home. Her daughter called me with the news so I could go to her memorial service.

I was at the bedside of another friend this January when she died. The only reason I knew about her condition is because we were members of the same group of Lesbians and the whole group keeps up with each other. But what if there is no regular group that keeps in touch? I had a friend with whom I often went for coffee. Lately, I phoned but got no response. I emailed and the email did not bounce, but again I received no response. It seems macabre but these days in my age group, I turn next to the obituaries. Sure enough, she died at home last May. I never heard about it.

Last month a very dear Sister in our Circle died suddenly and unexpectedly as a complication from a simple surgery. Because I was one of her priestesses, her husband called me right away and several of us attended her memorial. However a few weeks later I mentioned her death to someone close to her and the latter had no idea. She was horrified that no one had called her even though she was a customer of this Sister, a friend who normally checked in once in awhile, and who was involved with many of her other customers.

It used to be that posting a notice in the obituary column of the local newspaper was how people notified others when a person died. However, these days nobody reads newspapers and our social networks are vastly broader and more complex than they used to be. I suppose someday a genius will come up with an app for Who Ya Gonna Call – if they haven’t already - but until then, Who Ya Gonna Call?

I thought my set of final documents was complete but now I guess I have to compile a Who Ya Gonna Call list. I will file it with my documents in the freezer, and make sure that my first responders have a copy. Yes, I said “freezer”. The freezer is the last place in the house that is going to burn in a fire and, unless one has a safe, it is much easier to identify for first responders than telling them “look in the third drawer in the file cabinet in the office” or “underneath the keepsakes in the trunk in the second floor closet”.

Granted, it would be easy to compose a message and instruct my first responders to publish the message to the story and political lists on my main computer. That would work except that my computer itself died yesterday! She might not be in condition to send the message when it is time. In her case, of course, I did know who to call and she is in the shop getting repaired. She is so old that the technician said he would have to put on his archeologist hat to work on it.

I suppose I could save the list to flash drives which could be plugged into any computer and give those drives to first responders. The problem with that is that computer technology is changing so quickly that flash drives could become obsolete before I do. Of course I would not even consider putting anything on “The Cloud” for all the world to hack into. No, paper is the best. A paper document is tangible, versatile, and enduring.

If all this sounds like over doing it, just think of all the inane, unnecessary, and totally useless information that passes for communication on Facebook already. A Who Ya Gonna Call list is worth the effort to compile.

Janice Van Cleve has all her documents done and in order, and in her freezer.

Janice Van Cleve is a prolific writer and researcher who lives in Seattle, Washington and whose books are available at Amazon.com

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