I recently led a Wisdom Café at the Lake Forest Park Library on The Invisibility of Aging. The ensuing discussion explored and expanded the topic, one of the ongoing gifts of those conversations.
It shouldn’t surprise anybody reading this to recognize that our culture is deeply Ageist. It is focused to the point of addiction on youth and youth culture. Women over 50 often find they have become invisible to whole sectors of the population.
One woman in the group said she felt she had become background, a word that caught my attention. I thought of the famous example of figure-ground recognition, where one sees either the young woman or the crone depending on one’s perception. Once you know how it works, the switch between seeing one or the other can become automatic. We see each one for a moment before the other appears.
That capacity to hold two different images in our minds is just one example of how we are able to recognize and manage ambiguity. It is an increasingly necessary skill since many things in our lives require the ability to tolerate the grey area between absolutes.
A recent story in The Washington Post interviewed researchers about aging, offering insights that prompted a Duh! from me. They reflected on the need for older people to be active and engaged, suggesting that connections and contributions are critical to aging well. Not news to any of us, I’m sure, but perhaps there is a new generation of reporters who are discovering those ideas for the first time!
I realized that engaging in those suggested behaviors will increase our visibility! It just takes one other person who really sees us to move us from the background to the foreground.
The three attributes I have now offered for more than a decade about what we need to age well are Adaptability, Flexibility, and Resilience. Think about how these show up in your life and what they mean in how you interact with others.
Wonderfully synchronous with this month’s Musing are Peter Herford’s comments on Relevance for our What We Learned feature. What does it mean to be relevant as we age? To what and to whom do we strive to be relevant? It won’t surprise you to know that I urge a reframe of the term that feels doable and achievable. I will start that consideration with a reminder that anytime we extend ourselves to something or someone, we become relevant in that moment. And visible.
I was recently invited to be a judge for the Sound Generations 2025 Inspire Positive Aging Award (IPAA). The ceremony is scheduled for the end of May. Reading and evaluating the forty-eight nominations for the six categories blew my mind with the range of involvement, contribution, caring, and devotion demonstrated by the nominees. Ranging in age from the 60s to the 80s, many of them manage their own aging challenges even as they give so freely. They are deeply relevant to the people and the communities they belong to.
May’s events and programs, curated by NWCCA’s Associate Director Ruth Neuwald Falcon, invite you to find something you want to show up for. She hosts Not Just My Blog, which is also a call to involvement and recognition of these challenging times. Check it out and consider subscribing.
May is when the Pacific Northwest is at its most beautiful. Colors and aromas, warmth and longer days fill this month with abundant beauty.
Wishing you a month of seeing and being seen.
—Rebecca
Visit NWCCA’s website: nwcreativeaging.org
Rebecca Crichton, Executive Director of Northwest Center for Creative Aging (NWCCA) presents programs and resources related to Creative Aging in the Seattle area. She worked for The Boeing Company for 21 years as a writer, curriculum designer and leadership development coach. She facilitated Wisdom Cafes for the King County Library System and writes a regular column for 3rd Act Magazine. She trained as a Hospice Volunteer and facilitated Greif Support Groups for more than 20 years. She has Masters’ degrees in Child Development and Organizational Development and is a Certified Coach.
