Things That Wear Out
January 13, 2023 at 7:24 a.m.
...by Pat D'Amico
I shudder to contemplate the sum total of TVs, garbage disposals, water heaters and etc. that I have replaced over the years. Another problem is that each replacement gets “smarter” and most require some kind of programming.
If I want to get Alexa involved, (which I don’t) I might be able to converse with my next refrigerator…
LECTURING THE SMART FRIDGE
Don’t speak to me in those measured tones
And tell me what I should do.
Don’t blab it around on the internet
If I’m growing fur on my stew.
I’d like to think when I close the door
That you really do turn out the light.
It’s chilling to fear that you’re fooling around
And spilling the beans all night.
I will not employ Alexa or Siri
Because, truth be known, I am rather leery
That one of these ladies, not at my behest,
Will save my remarks when I’m not at my best
And cause them to swirl out in cyberspace
Then come back to bite me—I rest my case.
My microwave has lost its bell.
My toast looks like it burned in Hell.
My stove is cold, my fridge is hot,
My coffee maker’s gone to pot.
My vacuum cleaner sucks, half-hearted,
My hard drive crashed—don’t get me started!
They all are getting old, you see,
And sadly that’s including me.
Every vintage can be traced
But only I can’t be replaced.
Twenty years we’ve been together:
I suspected all along
That you were hiding something
And that you had done me wrong.
Now that you’re departed
It’s the evidence that talks—
I always knew it, wash machine,
You really ate my sox.
TICKED BY TECH
Technology, in days, bygone,
Was plug it in and turn it on.
Latest Stories
April is National Volunteer Month
Volunteer ideas for you to consider during National Volunteer Month in April and year-round
READ MORE...
Death Doula with Northwest Center for Creative Aging
Northwest Center for Creative Aging will present a program about navigating the end-of-life with a service called "Death Doula"
READ MORE...
Former WA Gov. Dan Evans Feted for Energy & Conservation Work
Former Washington Gov. Daniel J. Evans, 98, was called on to impart some words of wisdom
READ MORE...