Redesigning the Holidays During COVID

On NBC’s Meet the Press, Dr. Michael Osterholm, director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research & Policy, provided a quote for everyone to consider during the holiday season and beyond: “If you really love your family, you won’t go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas and end up infecting Mom or Dad or Grandma or Grandpa... This is our COVID year. Let’s accept it. It’s not like last year and it’s hopefully not going to be like next year. But I have seen far too many situations where, at family get-togethers, someone brings the virus into the household—unknowingly—and then four weeks later at least one or more of the family members are dead. No one wants to be responsible for that. So, if you really love your family...think through this and give them the greatest gift at all. That is, distance yourself this year and don’t expose them. It’s not ideal and we know that.” Dr. Osterholm went on to say that he believes next year things will be greatly improved.

Medical advances worldwide will hopefully in the next few months lead to multidrug treatments that can stop severe cases of COVID-19 from becoming fatal. However, we are not quite there yet and so this year you may want to break with tradition and plan something different to insure you and your loved ones have a safe holiday season.

Bernard Davidson, a psychologist at the Medical College of Georgia at Augusta University, said this is the year to have a serious talk with your loved ones in advance of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

“Adjusting expectations of what we are able to do this year... shows how much we care about each other,” said Davidson, who suggests you tell your loved ones that you do not want to risk any unintended exposure to the coronavirus. Many older adults, who may have hosted Thanksgiving dinners in the past, now have to reconsider.

He recommends scheduling a phone or video call or dropping off a special treat or meal as part of celebrating the holiday. “The more we expect this to be like other Thanksgivings, the more likely we are to be disappointed. If we set our expectations in line with what is occurring, we’re more likely to enjoy ourselves. Prepare Zoom meetings with family, maybe set up some online games or discussions of fond memories. We can even share pictures from past times together.”

Conversations may need to be handled delicately with some friends and relatives, added Davidson, but being honest and open with family members may lead to a better holiday experience. “Be upfront that you are concerned about their health as well as your own... Be prepared for some to have differing opinions than you do about staying safe at this time in the pandemic. Don’t argue with them. Don’t be invested in converting them to your point of view. Rather, explain that this is how you feel, and that it is also so hard for you not to see them either, but your interest for everyone’s health is your greatest concern.”

You can use this as a time to get back in touch with those you have been meaning to call. Completing a project you have been delaying can provide a great sense of accomplishment. In addition, helping others who are less fortunate can significantly help boost your mood and change your outlook. Most importantly, he said, is to have a discussion with extended family members about the things you are thankful for. “After all, this is a holiday time to express gratitude and thankfulness for what you do have,” concluded Davidson.

Salene Jones, a psychologist and assistant professor in the Public Health Sciences Division at Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle, said everyone needs to look at what their own public health guidelines are in their community. “You might have to change what you do, such as FaceTiming or—weather permitting—meeting outside with physical distancing. But staying connected is important. Don’t overdo it on the FaceTime and Zoom. Being on camera can feel more draining than in-person interactions. So, pace yourself and set realistic expectations,” said Jones. The pandemic means a lot of the ways we connect over the holidays will be virtual and physically distanced. So, it is time to be creative and to also make some exceptions. “You might have to give yourself extra time and mental space to plan visits with others. The most important advice I can give is to be gentle with yourself. This year may be hard and things will likely not be perfect and that’s okay. People might need to spend more time in self-care and in whatever activities help them personally feel better,” said Jones.

Still, prioritize making time to be social with loved ones. Studies abound showing socializing is important for your physical and mental health. Social distancing is a misnomer, according to Dr. Alan Teo, Associate Professor, Oregon Health & Science University in Portland. “You can be social but distanced. If you have an outdoor space that allows that, even better. Socializing doesn’t need to be in a big group. In fact, having a social-but-distanced holiday meal with just one other person can be incredibly meaningful,” said Dr. Teo.

COVID-19 Risk to Older Adults from Kids

Dr. Ken Haller, professor of Pediatrics at Saint Louis University School of Medicine, confirmed that the older you are, the more you are at risk for contracting COVID-19. On the other hand, the younger a kid is, the less likely they are to either get sick or even infected with the novel coronavirus. “Again, there is a lot we don’t know about this. It does seem that the younger a child is, the fewer receptors for coronavirus that child has in the membranes in their nose and throat and lungs,” said Dr. Haller. “Subsequently, when the virus enters the respiratory tract of the young child, it simply doesn’t attach. Therefore, it doesn’t replicate, and it can’t be passed on to other people.” But as kids get older, they have more receptors. “These kids are more likely to have the virus to replicate and then be passed on to other people,” said Dr. Haller. Dr. Haller said every family has to look at their own individual risk factors and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. “Everyone has to make their own decisions.” He advises all to wear facemasks for their own and other’s protection.