On my kitchen counter stands a box of band aids and some peroxide. Some kitchen scissors lay beside my first-aid items.
What emergency am I preparing for? A plastic wrapped package of typing paper, a sale can of cranberry sauce without the tab, and a cereal box await my attention. I’m going to attempt to open these items.
I’ll try the typing paper package first. Now you see why I have all the above first aid items ready for action. I’ve been through this routine before!
I attempt the opening by pulling on the folded ends of the plastic package. A tip of my fingernail flies across the kitchen counter. Trying again, my finger slides across the top of the slick plastic wrapped package as if someone had buttered it. Finally, in frustration I pick up my scissors and plunge them into the top of the package. I get a break, but unfortunately I have a cut on the palm of my hand, and I’ve lost one sheet of typing paper due to a rip from the scissors. I apply my emergency peroxide and a band-aid.
Bravely, I choose the canned cranberry sauce next, as I plan to eat it with my chicken dinner. I have this procedure down: I set it in the sink. The manual can opener finds the grooves on the top of the can, and it slides to the opposite side. For some reason if I turn it upside down it works better from the bottom. This strategy gets my can opener to kick in. (The wall can-opener I purchased sits on the pantry shelf. I have no idea how to assemble it.)
Next, a cereal box stands waiting. But it can wait. At this point, I’m tired of my fingernails breaking off.
New “convenient” packaging and canned foods of the Twenty-First century welcome not only senior citizens, but the young, the injured, and arthritis patients of any age!
Patricia Gustavson is a retired Washingtonian whose historical novel, set in Issaquah, Abigail’s Valley, is about a young nurse.
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