We don’t always get a second chance in life. This is especially true when it comes to raising our children. Often parents look back and wish they had done things differently.

Take me, for instance. I was what I would call a “caretaker” mom. You know the kind – the Type A personality caught up in the daily routine making sure everything was running smoothly rather than overlooking disorder in order to have some fun. I contribute a lot of it to working fulltime and trying to fit the many household chores and responsibilities into the time remaining.

It was tough for everyone to keep up with my demands, including me. Every weekend was filled with “must do’s” – cleaning, shopping, paperwork, yard work, laundry… Vacation time resembled the weekends.

“Maybe next week, or next month or next year” was the excuse I gave. Little did I realize that time would pass so quickly and my time with my children was like sand flowing through open fingers.

But sometimes we do get a second chance – if we become a grandparent. As a grandmother, relieved of the daily responsibilities for a child’s upbringing, I came to realize:

• that dirt is not a sign of carelessness, but of playfulness;

• that imagination is more stimulating than knowledge;

• that I can say, “Yes, we can do that,” instead of “No, not now – we don’t have time;”

• that doing a grandchild’s laundry is not a chore, but a nostalgic trip;

• that aches and pains are due to throwing a ball and running, not cleaning and yard work;

• that raising dough relates to cookies and not an increase in income, and

• that bringing up children is not a chore or a duty, but a privilege and a joy.

In 1978, then-President Jimmy Carter signed a proclamation establishing the first Sunday after Labor Day as “Grandparents Day”. The proclamation states in part “to give grandparents an opportunity to show love for their children’s children and to help children become aware of the strength, information and guidance older people can offer.”

The special bond between a grandparent and grandchild is a win-win situation. Grandparents can bend the rules because now we know which ones are important and which ones can be ignored. We can teach our grandchildren something without them even knowing they learned anything. We have time to listen and keep their secrets. We keep them in touch with the past, while they take our hand and lead us into the future. They learn respect and accept our authority because we’re “so old,” and we learn to be more forgiving because they’re “so young.” We keep in shape trying to keep up with them and they learn to relax while we read them a book.

Blessed is a child who has a grandparent. I remember my own “Nanna.” Although she lived far away and her visits were infrequent, I looked forward with anticipation to seeing her and was heartbroken when she left. Her quiet demeanor was a welcome change from our normal everyday busy household. And I can’t eat a s’more without a smile remembering that it was she who taught me how to make them.

I believe the universe not only sent grandchildren here to entertain us, but to forgive and thank us for our early efforts in raising our own children. Thank you Josh and Sarah for helping me not only explore a new world through your eyes, but a new me.

When the “grandkids are in the house” a lot goes undone. And, that’s just fine with me.

Tish Gregory is a free-lance writer. She can be reached at: tishgregory@aol.com