The young ones, even when angelic in appearance, can be self-centered brats that strike hard notes against a grandparent’s nerve center. You can love them and they will hate you. You can get angry and they will love you. It is a circle that laps round and round, breaking your heart, healing it, and then breaking it yet again. The older ones weigh heaviest upon the mind and soul of a grandparent — especially if they dwell in the same residence. The line between parent and grandparent is thin and breakable. As such, the complications of dealing with a trouble teen grandchild can be overwhelming.
They are tossed within the waves of youthful frustrations. Emotional collisions with peers and adults ramble through their not yet fully formed minds. A natural resistance to every form of authority drives them to express who they are and what they want in this life as though it were the only matter of importance to anyone.
Simple starter rules for dealing with teen grandchildren
There is a great difference between raising your teen grandchild and in having your teen grandchild visit your home. Yet many of the methods of the relationship should remain the same.
Lead by actions, not words. Let your walk be your talk. Stop trying to fill your grandchild with a million words of personal wisdom.
Ignore the rule of spoiling. Your job is to reinforce right principles as taught by the child’s natural parents. Stop trying to be a hero. Love them, but do not spoil them.Treasure them, but without foolishness.
House rules always stand. Hands off means “Hands Off.” Mealtime is mealtime. Curfew means be home on time. Respect for other people is never negotiable. Get the picture?
Be a servant. Don’t brag about it. Don’t point it out. Just do what is best for those with whom you come into contact.Programs for Troubled Youth — Help Through the Dark Hours Even for the best of grandparents, there comes a time when the dark hours overwhelm our personal abilities.
At times, we need help. Dealing with a troubled teen grandchild need not be a solitary experience. The following resources link to programs for troubled youth:
USA Government Made Easy: Mandated through Section 204 of the E-Government Act of 2002, this official web-portal helps grandparents find information about benefits, assistance, and more.
Private Residential Programs, Q&A: This government white paper discusses a variety of private residential programs for troubled teens, including “emotional growth academies,” “wilderness therapy programs,” and “teen boot camps.”
Office of Justice Programs: This direct link to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention covers programs from youth courts to tribal issues to mental health initiatives.
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