Ethics in Dating
Magic at Midlife: Your Relationship Roadmap for Romance After 40
At the appropriate time, you will want to tell a potential partner if you have any serious medical conditions, a history of substance abuse, or mental health problems. If someone who is important in your life (a child or a sibling, for example) has any of these issues, your partner should know. Similarly, if the IRS is hounding you for back taxes, you are deeply in debt, or you have a gambling problem, tell your partner before your lives become financially entangled.
Fairness is another ethical issue. A relationship should be balanced. It may not be 50-50 on one issue or at one point in time, but if you know in your heart that you are taking advantage of your partner in some way, cut it out. In the long run, your partner will become resentful and you will lose respect for yourself. Monitor yourself so that you don't take advantage of a partner's giving nature or desire to keep the relationship going.
We often get what we give. If you give honesty, fairness, and true consideration for your partner's needs, you have a better chance of receiving those wonderful elements of a great relationship from a dating partner. At the very least, you will be able to move into the future with a clear conscience.
Northwest authors Jennifer Y. Levy-Peck, PhD, a psychologist, and her husband Charles Peck are write a weekly column on midlife relationships. They are working on a new book, "Magic at Midlife: Your Relationship Roadmap for Romance After 40."
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