Chris' Corner: Living Life with Memory Loss

Having spent a lifetime in retirement housing, assisted living and memory care, I know the questions, and I’ve real experience with the myriad resources and options for support that are available. Helmut knows this. I also knew that my chief responsibility during those special summer weeks was to allow Helmut to escape into his own world—we both know that when he returns to Germany, caring for Marilyn will again be all consuming.

Finally, toward the end of their visit, I asked the inevitable question that so many families and readers of this column have had to ask themselves. I asked Helmut how long he thinks he can go on caring for Marilyn alone.

I shared with Helmut the story of David and Lucy Flora, two former residents at Chateau Valley Center in Renton. David and Lucy moved in together some years ago as independent residents. During their first year, Lucy began to show signs of memory loss. Fortunately, Chateau had just opened a specialized dementia care wing. David brought his wife to the new memory care unit for a few hours a week, both to empower Lucy to engage in meaningful and appropriate activities, and also to offer David some respite as Lucy’s primary caregiver.

Eventually the family realized that Lucy’s needs would best be served by moving her into the unit as a full time memory care resident. Every morning and afternoon David lovingly checked in on his wife. They continued to share meals in the dining room together and engage in activities together. As David’s own needs progressed, he was able to get the assistance he needed as well. I remember their son, Bill Flora, telling me how essential it was for the family that their mom and dad were able to live together and age in place under one roof.

I don’t yet know what Helmut’s answer to my question will be. He does not yet know, and he will have to consult with his children. I am convinced, however, that this is not something best tackled alone. Support is out there—certainly even in Germany, that can enrich the lives of all parties involved.

If you would like information about what sets Chateau Memory Care apart or to schedule a tour and free lunch at any of our Memory Care locations (Bothell, Lynnwood and Renton), please call Community Relations Director Mary Benz or Rob Finley at 425.485.1155 or email info@chateau-bothell-landing.com. Visit our website at www.chateauretirement.com to find out why the Chateau is the name to trust in memory care.